Lying Still (ongoing)
Lying Still is an exploration of our ideas about and approaches to change and challenges in life.
There are many different, personal reactions to change. Sometimes, people accept it as a natural part of life, and even embrace it as something that brings new opportunities, new humilities. At other times, people fight it ferociously, even if they’re somehow aware that those efforts are futile.
It is part of human nature to try – at least temporarily – to block out potential threats, risks and worst-case scenarios, in order not to live in constant fear. Our wishes, hopes, plans, goals, dreams and expectations are strong evidence of our humanity, and of our need to forge ahead despite obstacles. But once in a while, life reminds us that being in control might be an illusion.
One afternoon, I was lying in bed. I was sick, with an illness that came on unexpectedly. And I found myself thinking that if I could just lie still, the pain might go away. I realized then, that when something good happens, I freeze too. I don’t want to move in case the joy goes away.
So at a time when my body forced itself into the center of my attention, it seemed only natural to also focus on it in my artistic work, in order to regain some sense of control through deeper understanding.
The project started out as a visual diary, capturing a personal journey through sickness. But soon, I realized I was also telling other stories. I noticed how my body had changed since I was younger. How my body would keep changing, and wouldn’t last forever. How becoming a woman comes with the price of aging. And as I focused on these forces that lie beyond our control, I began to explore the concept of internal change, and our approaches to what happens in life.
Lying Still currently consists of self portraits, landscapes and still lifes, each dealing with notions of mortality, sexuality, intimacy, roles and relationships and the change within them. I see the images as allegories of the human condition. They are sincere and poetic scenes that have their origin in the deep reservoir of the unconsciousness and refer to our dreams, desires, urges, memories and fears.
- Project Archive